Giving and Receiving

from the film: “The Intouchables” (Originally published in the Catholic Times, August 26, 2012 © 2012 Mary van Balen)

I had just returned from a trip to Seattle, and while a three-hour difference in time didn’t seem like it should make much difference to my body clock, it did. I dragged myself out of bed for early Mass, did some grocery shopping, and not much else despite a long to-do list. Then came a call from a friend who had just seen the movie, “The Intouchables.”

The trailer for that movie had intrigued me earlier in the summer, and I knew I would want to see it. Checking my work schedule and the film’s show times, I decided to rouse myself and go. A friend agreed to meet me at the theater. Despite the price, I bought a pizza slice and cup of soda for dinner, and we found a seat.

We were not disappointed. Without giving too much away, I can say this French film about a wealthy French quadriplegic and his live in caregiver, a young man from the projects, is exhilarating and dramatic, a comedy and inspiration. We laughed and shed tears, and left the Drexel theater making plans to bring another friend and see it again. It is that good.

I am glad I saw it when I did, just back from a trip to the other side of the country. While there, I found myself thinking about the diversity of people in the world. How many faiths? How many ways of prayer? The types of jobs, struggles, and joys are as many as the people on the planet. And all have something to teach us. To show us about how to live and how to love.

While walking through a Japanese garden I felt myself slow down, appreciating soft moss-covered sections shaded by delicate Japanese maples, or turtles burrowing under floating masses of water lilies. I sat and watched others come and go. Japanese families, a student taking notes and his girlfriend reading a fashion magazine. What drew them there? The peace? The stillness?

Then there was the Public Marketplace, as noisy and crowded as the garden was quiet and nearly empty. Booth after booth of fresh flowers were a riot of color and reminded me a bit of Thailand markets. Jewelry, clothing, artwork, fruits, vegetables, and yes, the fish market where crabs and whole salmon are tossed about. So NOT Ohio.

Evensong on the island’s Episcopal church reminded me of my Benedictine friends in Minnesota. And that made me think of all the ways people give thanks for a day and the Divine Presence that is in it. Walking among giant Douglas Firs and old cedars made me aware of the short time we each have on earth. Generations have come and gone while those trees have been growing. They will live to see more.

As I watched the water in Puget Sound, I thought of a friend who is taking a retreat at the ocean before beginning a job with L’Arche, an organization that places great value on community living, disabled and those who are able to help them with daily tasks. Both groups give. Both receive. Like “The Intouchables,” Philippe, the French aristocrat who can do almost nothing on his own, and Driss, the man with a record who needs a different kind of healing.

We human beings have much to celebrate. Much to learn from each other. Much to give. Our community need not be as dramatic as that between Driss and Philippe or L’Arche communities around the world, but we can learn from them. Those who seem impossibly different from us are not so different after all. And those who seem to require a lot of one-sided care have gifts for their caregivers, perhaps greater than the ones they receive.

Our world is full of hurt and need as well as health and abundance. See the movie. Remember, and enter with new enthusiasm into the life you have to live.