Changing the slogan
Apart Together – Mary van Balen
A few days ago, a friend sent an email that, among other things, suggested a change to the slogan often heard in the midst of the Coronavirus pandemic. “Getting through this together” could use a little tweak. In light of the urgent need for people to self-isolate, she thought “Getting through this apart” might better reflect the message being sent by medical experts world-wide, and locally, by Gov. Mike DeWine and Director of the Ohio Health Department, Dr. Amy Acton.
I forwarded the email and added my thoughts: How about “Getting through this apart—together”?
A Robert Frost poem came to mind, “The Tuft of Flowers.” I hadn’t thought of it in years.
The poem
This poem spoke to me immediately when I first read it as a teenager in The Complete Poems of Robert Frost, one of my Book-of-the-Month Club purchases.
The speaker in “The Tuft of Flowers” is a man going out to turn the grass in a field mowed by someone earlier that morning. The speaker looks for the one who had gone before, listens for the sound of his whetstone, but without success. He had gone on, alone.
Watercolor sketch for my journal
“As we all must be,” the man says in his heart, “Whether they work together or apart.”
But, getting ready to toss the grass to dry, he spots a butterfly, searching for a flower remembered from the day before, circling around one lying, cut and drying out, with the rest of the grasses.
Suddenly the butterfly turns toward a brook. The man looks and sees what it had discovered: a tuft of flowers, untouched by the scythe, a “leaping tongue of bloom” rising up from the cut grasses along a reedy brook.
He senses that the mower had left the flowers standing out of sheer joy at their beauty. That realization opened him up to be present to the moment, to noticing birdsong. And, to his surprise, a connection with the one who had cut down the meadow and disappeared into the morning.
Instead of feeling alone in his work, the man felt the companionship and support of the unknown mower and carried on a heart-conversation with him, a kindred spirit.
The grace of that encounter with the butterfly, the flowers, and through them, the mower, flipped the man’s perspective. He was not alone after all.
“Men work together I told him in my heart, whether they work together or apart.”
Our work to do
This poem holds wisdom for us, as we face the Coronavirus and Covid-19 pandemic. Taking the lead where our President has not, some governors in our country (Thank you Gov. Mike DeWine and Dr. Amy Acton) have already ordered their citizens to shelter in place. I hope they all do, and soon. Not only for the sake of individuals’ health, but as a way to slow down the virus spread. To “flatten the curve.”
Staying inside one’s home alone or with family members is isolating. But it is our work to do. And as the poem reminds us, what one person does affects countless others. We are interconnected in more ways than we can imagine. Like the mower and the one who came after to turn the grass, we are working together at the same task. Even though we will never know the names of those who heed the warnings, follow the orders, and isolate themselves, we can draw strength from their actions.
For us, they are of life and death significance.
Some people cannot stay home. Healthcare professionals, grocery store workers, and so many others whose work is critical during this time, are putting themselves a risk to serve the rest of us. But for every person who decides not to be part of the effort – those who could stay inside but don’t, those who make unnecessary trips or insist on attending large gatherings, secular or religious, those who go on about life as usual – the strength of the communal effort is weakened. Thousands more will die.
Illusion of an unconnected self
In our country, individualism is glorified. “Doing it my way.” “Pulling oneself up by the bootstraps.” “I don’t need any help.” “Keep government off my back.”
“Going it alone” is an illusion. None of us “makes it” or fails to “make it” alone. And this crisis will not be met by individuals. It will be overcome by a nation, by a world of people working together as they live apart.
If you’d like, read the poem, “The Tuft of Flowers” online. Or if you, like me, have an old 1964 copy of The Complete Poems of Robert Frost sitting on your bookshelves, read it there on page 31.
Journal pages – Mary van Balen
It has been interesting and disheartening in communicating with my Ohio friends from my home in CA that Ohio and other non- coastal states were 2 weeks behind CA ( and NY) in the shelter-in-place alerts. My admonitions to friends about this sounded to them like paranoia, but I err towards an analytic rather than emotional reaction to all things in life. I knew the lack of national leadership to call for sheltering in place would soon trickle down through the states, working its way from the coasts inward. And so it did. And in so doing, the impact of this social distancing to slow the virus spread was minimized.
I am praying that the health professionals on Trump’s team find ways to advise him in ways he will hear and heed. They will have to couch their messages to him to sound as if the needed action benefits Trump since that is the only message his psyche can hear.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Nancy. My nephew in NYC let me know that their “shelter-in-place” order went into effect just last night. No one acted as fast as they might have, and we will pay the price. I am disheartened not only by failures in leadership, but also by the failure of so many people to take the warnings and orders seriously. Every day and every person’s response will have impact on millions of people one way or the other. I am also inspired by those who are putting themselves at risk to serve others, and of course, that includes healthcare workers and all the folks making sure groceries and supplies end up on store shelves.
I’m reminded of Mr. Rogers quoting his mother’s advice when facing a frightening situation: Always look for the helpers. In some way, we can each be a “helper.”
Mary, I have loved Robert Frost’s poems ever since I was given a copy of You Come Too for young readers. Thanks for bringing back wonderful memories and a peek into that beloved book. You Come Too is also a wonderful poem! We think Gov. DeWine and Dr. Amy Action are doing a wonderful job. We’re lonely, but will get through this by hunkering down together!
Thank you for your comments, Debbie, and for the poetry suggestion.
Wonderful, Mary!
Thanks,
Ed Hoffman
You’re welcome, Ed. It’s nice to hear from you!
Thank you, Mary! A lovely reflection. I, too, have been greatly heartened by the strong, decisive leadership in Ohio. And, I daresay, I find Dr. Acton quite soulful in her approach. She and the governor have been the compassionate yet challenging people we need in the midst of all this. They’ve made it clear that we ARE together yet apart. We always have been, and as Dr. A said, the world is waking up, not shutting down.
You’re welcome, Anita. I love the idea that “the world is waking up, not shutting down.” I pray it is so.
Thank you so much.
You are welcome Ann!
Powerful message, Mary- it needs to be heard nationwide!
Thank you, Jolaine.