PHOTO:Mary van Balen
“FAITH: May the God of FAITH be with you, sending you miracles and teaching you to expect them. May God show you things that can be seen only in darkness. May your faith see you through the unknowns in your life, calling you to trust the unseen presence of God in them. May your faith serve as a beacon to light the way for other pilgrims on the way. May the blessing of FAITH be upon you.” p 60
My group of “Sabbath House” friends sat together after dinner, pondering the blessings that come with struggle and pain in our lives. We read a meditation by Joyce Rupp and then shared our personal struggles and the blessing they offered, however difficult to see or feel at the moment.
Max, leader for the evening, had placed a stack of her new book, “Blessing Upon Blessing,” on the coffee table.
“Pick a number,” she said to Ann, and then opened her book to that page and read the blessing aloud.
“Amen,” the rest affirmed as Max handed Ann a copy of the book. Ann turned to me.
“Pick a number.”
“60,” I said, and we all chuckled since I had been celebrating my 60th birthday for the past few weeks with various friends and activities.
Ann read the blessing of FAITH quoted at the beginning of this blog. The blessing seemed particularly appropriate for my current journey, and I tried to open myself to the grace it named, appreciative of the groups “amen!”
I was given a book and turned to Lavonne, continuing the circle of blessings. Each prayer seemed meant for its recipient, and by the final “amen,” the room was awash in the awareness of God With Us at that moment and in our lives.
As I reflect on the idea of “blessing,” the words of a priest friend come to mind. We had been talking when someone came up with a bottle of water and asked him to bless it. He did, and when the woman left, happily carrying her bottle of holy water my friend turned to me and said: “The blessing just makes us aware of what is already holy.”
As Max wrote in the introduction to her book, blessings are part of “this double-edged journey to the Holy.” When a blessing is given and received, we become aware of “…what has been there all along…a loving and lavish God who never stops blessing us.”
Today I have found myself grieving for what has and has not been in my life; for things hoped for that were never realized and for things unwanted that came along anyway. Letting go of lost dreams and accepting reality is painful, and today it brought heaviness to my heart and tears to my eyes.
Yet, as I sat with Max’s book of blessings and prayed not only the blessing of Faith, but also of the blessing of BEGINNING AGAIN, peace began to seep back into my heart:
“May the God of BEGINNING AGAIN be with you. May that God hold you near as you grieve what is past and move with faith into what is to be. May the hand of God carry you across the darkness of loss into light. May your courage and your trust become for those around you a living witness to the mystery of death and rising. May the God of BEGINNING AGAIN bless you.”
Only after praying with this for a while did the structure of the blessings become obvious to me. It reflects both the desire to receive blessing and the blessing our remaining faithful to our journey is to others in our lives. I felt a little foolish that I needed so long to see why Max’s blessings moved me the first time she used them at one of our Sabbath House gatherings.
We are called to bless and be blessed, and the Holy One is the source of both. Today my need was greater than what I had to give, or so I felt, anyway. So, before going to bed I gave myself the luxury of resting in one last blessing:
“May the God of NOW, the Divine, I AM, invite you into each moment, into each circumstance and experience of your life. May you enter the NOW of your life and stand with the God who is already there. May you become aware that you are never alone and may you share this Now God with all those who are searching. May the God of NOW, the God of Presence, bless you.
Amen.
© 2010 Mary van Balen
(To order this book contact: The Spirituality Network, Inc.
614.228.8867
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or visit the website: spiritualitynetwork.org)
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