PHOTO: A U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service Employee
Waiting for Dad to don pajamas and prepare for bed, I sat on a couch tucked away in a nook off the nursing homes wide hallway. I checked voicemail, made a few calls, and then looked out the window beside me and watched a spider working on her web. She was large, her bulbous abdomen marked underneath with an orangey hourglass shape, and her long legs were darker at each joint. She waved them about until they detected a strand of silk, then she hurried along it to the end. Once there, she dropped quickly to another point along the window frame where she attached the new thread, then began waving her legs around again.
I looked at the web from a variety of angles but could see no pattern let alone the familiar radiating design I expected. Three messy spots looked like a tangle of threads spun around a hapless victim, but other than those bits, nothing hinted at purpose or method.
Curious, once back home, I Goggled dark jointed brown spider and tentatively identified her as a brown widow and learned the web she wove was typical of her kind. A reader had posted a blog about the brown widow spider and observed that while the web was a mess, it got the job done.
I empathized with that busy spider, thinking my life, with its unexpected twists and turns, could look messy to an observer. My eight-legged friend reminds me of Wilbur, even though the spider in question is female. She is definitely not a Charlotte. Charlotte was organized, knew what she wanted, and planned ahead. In the book, Charlottes Web, Wilbur eventually prevailed not because of great foresight and planning but rather because of his great heart and determination. His path to a secure long life was full of unpredictable events. He bumbled along, doing the best he could at each juncture, and with Charlottes help, avoided ending up on someones breakfast plate.
My spider friend approaches life similarly, plummeting to whatever place gravity takes her once she reaches the end of a silken thread, and begins again. The blog writer was correct: In the end, the spider caught her prey and lived to spin another day.
I sympathize with those who feel lost and unsure of their next step. Paths usually do not continue as planned, and they challenge us to embrace our new situation and move forward from that place. That happens to all of us in one way or another. Some people may have lives that appear elegantly designed, but we never know what lies beneath the surface: Spinning is difficult no matter the outcome. The brown widow fashions the web she is made to spin, following the instinct born within her. We are inspirited with Divine life, and each of us walk the roads we are given, listening for and trusting the Spirit born within. In the end, difficult as the journey may be, we each will arrive at the place we are made to be: the all encompassing embrace of God.
© 2010 Mary van Balen
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