THE LAST SUPPER BY BOHDAN PIASECKI 
After saying this Jesus was troubled in spirit, and declared, “Very truly, I tell you, one of you will betray me. The disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom he was speaking.
Jn 13, 21-22
It is good to know that Jesus’ spirit was troubled; not that I am glad it was, but that I am encouraged that it could be. Sometimes Jesus is presented as the all-knowing God who knew that when these torturous few days were over that all would be well…so no need to be troubled. It was all in the script.
I prefer Jesus to be more like the rest of us. He had to trust the One Who Sent Him, just like we do.In the hours after the last supper with his disciples (I chose the painting I did because it includes women. I can’t imagine this meal with out women disciples present.) he would sweat blood as he prayed in the garden and ask God to remove the end that he could see coming. Later still, he called out from the cross, quoting Psalms and asking why God had abandoned him.
Jesus’ spirit was troubled at dinner because, among other things, he knew that those closest to him were going to betray him. One, literally, would turn him over to the Pharisees and priests. Peter, also like me, who was quick to passionately declare his love and commitment to Jesus would deny him, and most of the others would run in fear when push came to shove.
Yet, in the end, Jesus trusted. He trusted God enough to face beatings and death on a cross. He trusted Love enough to sit and have dinner with his friends who would prove so weak in the next twenty-four hours. He trusted God’s Kingdom enough to wash their feet as an example of what they were to do…when they regained their courage.
Jesus, when my spirit is troubled, when what I see coming is frightening, or when those I thought I could count on bolt in my darkest times, help me trust you, the One Who Sent You, and the Love that came to reside in my heart. Help me embrace those around me in your love and move forward into the unknown sure that you are with me.
© 2010 Mary van Balen
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