inclusion — Page 4

January 20, 2015 By Mary van Balen Leave a Comment

A Nun’s Ministry to the Transgender Community

A friend of mine, “Sr. Monica,” has had a long and graced ministry to the transgender community. Her presence with the people she knows speaks of God’s love and care for all of us, including those most of the fringes of society, the “invisible people,” as she called them.

Read her recent HuffPost blog post .

I hope, perhaps naively, that during the current Pope’s tenure, the church will finally recognize and remedy its failure to “be there” for these people who want simply to be who they have been made to be.

Filed Under: Widening Our Circles Tagged With: acceptance, compassion, equality, gender, grace, inclusion, LGBT, Pope Francis, Presence

October 13, 2014 By Mary van Balen 1 Comment

The Synod on the Family

Posted on new.va

The Synod on the Family, called by Pope Francis, is into week two. The first document has been released. It is really a summary of what has been discussed thus far. The rest of the week will be spent with the bishops in small groups, refining the document that then will be released. As noted in NCR’s article, the document speaks in new tones of listening and recognition of the dignity of persons, and with mercy.

Still, I find myself bristling at the continued use of the word “failure” or “failed” in discussion of divorced people. Yes, truly listening to the concerns and realities of ordinary people is a step forward and perhaps heralds a coming openness to change in policies that do not reflect the love and mercy of Jesus. Still, as one who is divorced and who has worked with women in abusive situations, I must say that many times, leaving a marriage is not a “failure,” but a success. To stay in a relationship that has become oppressive, that no longer is life-giving, or that has become abusive simply to “obey the rules” is not something to encourage.

In some of these situations, if the spouses (or spouse) would pursue an annulment, the church might say the sacramental marriage was invalid, it never happened….But many do not pursue such a course. The church should respect the persons involved, not calling them failures, but supporting them as they move on.

A topic completely missing from the discussion is that of the transgender community. (Read entire document here.) Often overlooked, the “T” in “LGBT” needs to be considered. Many transgendered people have left the Catholic church after enduring humiliating experiences including the suggestion that they be exorcised for the demon within. The lack of understanding of current medical and psychological knowledge about this reality is a glaring omission.

Today, the issues of the transgender community are becoming more and more visible in the media and social consciousness of the reality has grown. The Roman Catholic Church needs to follow that lead.

The current movement is hopeful. We’ll see how far the Spirit leads and how far the Church follows.

Filed Under: The Scallop, Widening Our Circles Tagged With: catholic, compassion, faith, gender, grace, hope, inclusion, LGBT, mercy, Pope Francis, Synod on Family

March 5, 2014 By Mary van Balen Leave a Comment

Lent: “Good Enough”

Painting by Richard Duarte Brown

I was talking with a Buddhist friend about Lent the other day. She asked if I were giving up chocolate. Her mother gives that up every year. I did when I was growing up. No wonder a big chocolate rabbit looked great in my Easter basket! “No,” I said. I hadn’t decided what I would do yet, but it would have more to do with helping me open up to God’s Grace and Presence in me and in the world that in banishing a particular food from my Lenten menu.

Not that altering my eating habits might not be on my list. Sometimes when I am tired or stressed, I resort to food to help me through. No food in particular, but at those times I usually clean out “sweet” before I go for “healthy.” Perhaps I could turn to reading a good book, or having a conversation with God before heading to the pantry. I could do something that feeds my spirit, that nurtures hope, that helps me see beauty and Presence. Those practices could bring peace and rest to a restless soul.

“My mom could give up negative ‘self-talk’,” my friend said. “She is always putting herself down.”

True. Recognizing God’s Presence in ourselves, God’s love for us, is difficult if what we see in the mirror of our mind is never good enough. Before we can experience God in the world, before we can serve and love others, we must love and appreciate ourselves. For some, the focus on “giving something up” reinforces their sense of always falling short. Of never being “enough.”

The events Lent/Easter call to mind for reflection tell us just the opposite: We are already enough. We are so “enough” that the Holy Mystery wants to dwell within us. Wants to walk our difficult paths through life as a companion and support. Walking the earth, Jesus showed us just how “enough” every person is. “Enough” to love. “Enough” to die for rather than betray.

I’m not saying giving up chocolate is off the table. Self-discipline starts in little ways. It should lead to other things. To being able to look at ourselves, at those in our lives, at those suffering in our country and around the world…To be able to look at those who are different than we are and to see everyone of us as God does: Gloriously enough. And then, somehow through how we live our lives, letting them know.

Filed Under: The Scallop Tagged With: grace, hope, inclusion, lent, self acceptance

December 29, 2013 By Mary van Balen Leave a Comment

Feast of the Holy Family When You Are Divorced

by Richard Duarte Brown

I have been divorced for a few years, and unhappily married for many more. So, for quite awhile, this feast was a challenge for me as I sat through homilies that excluded my experience of married life. Today, thankfully, the priest mentioned a wide variety of families beyond the nuclear family. He mentioned those dealing with divorce and with abusive marriages. He also mentioned those who are single, both by choice and by circumstance. The Healthy Children.org website lists eight different configurations for families with children including single parent, grandparents as parents, adoptive/foster, and same sex families.

As I sat and listened to the readings, I reminded myself that I am a member of many families: my family of origin which blessed me with love and wisdom to raise my children as well as to deal with pain and disappointment in my own marriage. I have a family of three wonderful adult children who will always be a deep part of the fabric of my life and who bring me joy and encouragement. I have an extended family of brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, and aunt and cousins. And then there is the family of friends that reach far and wide across the continent and the oceans. There is a parish family who welcomed me for a special evening and meal before midnight mass.

Paul’s letter to the Colossians spoke of another family: The huge, diverse family of the children of God. All other families rest in this one. It is the one Pope Francis calls us to embrace and serve with our lives. It is the one we celebrate when we pray together as a parish or in small, intentional communities.

Sometimes, that big family is a bit too “out there” to feel warm and embracing when you need that. But “close up” families don’t always supply that either. No matter where we find ourselves today: single, divorced, happily married, or suffering through an abusive relationship that is best ended, we can remember we are part of a wonderfully large family of the One who made us all. If we are blessed with support and love around us, we are called to reach out to those who are not. Families, at their best, look out for one another. We are called to be a family at its best.

Filed Under: The Scallop Tagged With: compassion, divorce, family, hope, inclusion, Pope Francis, Richard Duarte Brown

November 20, 2013 By Mary van Balen Leave a Comment

Transgender Day of Remembrance

PHOTO: TransOhio

Today across the country and the world, people stop to remember those transgender persons lost to violence fueled by transphobia and hate. I join my voice and prayer with others commemorating this day for an end to such senseless violence. Ignorance and fear are the sources of such violence. Like racism, such attitudes are sometimes learned at home, or sadly, in church. No matter where it begins, these attitudes have their root in dividing the world into “them” and “us.” Into “people like me” and “the other.”

If you don’t know much about transgender people, today would be a good day to learn something. You will find that transgender people are just that: people. When we get down to it, people are more alike than they are different. Today, say a prayer for those who have been lost. And say a prayer for those whose ignorance and fear perpetuate discrimination and violence against transgender people.

Here are some links to sites that contribute to better understanding of these people and the challenges they face:

Lana Wachowski’s acceptance speech for HRC Visibility Award. Acclaimed director of movies such as the Matrix Trilogy and Cloud Atlas, her speech is one of the best on the topic I have ever heard. You won’t be the same after you hear it.

JamieAnn Myers Blog on Huffington Post states that over 238 trans people were murdered world wide last year. Her blog lists some struggles a transperson meets just going about ordinary daily activities.

Transgender Day of Remembrance 2013 (TDOR) A post from GLADD that includes a link to find TDOR events in your community.

Wikipedia’s entry on Transgender Day of Remembrance presents the history of this day as well as links for further information.

Filed Under: Widening Our Circles Tagged With: civil rights, inclusion, LGBT

September 3, 2013 By Mary van Balen 1 Comment

Of Identity, Faith, and Love

by Sara Davis Buechner

As difficult as it is for me to define the music I play in words, so it is with religion. The two are deeply intertwined within my soul, and the expression of both is something that takes me into a realm far different, far higher, than the ordinary experience of daily life. It’s fair to say that my life would, indeed, have no meaning without music, and thus I may say also of a life without God, without spirit, without a daily soulful prayer to the Creator. Since earliest memory I have had the need within, to make a joyful noise unto the Lord.

As a young child, the most joyful times in my life circled around the music played on our home piano, the Mozart Symphonies that came into our living room on the radio, the classical records my mother bought for our RCA turntable, and most of all the piano lessons taken on the lap of one of the most spiritual and loving human beings I know, a then-young Hungarian refugee named Veronika Wolf. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Your Stories Tagged With: catholic, inclusion, music, pianist, Sara Davis Buechner

July 10, 2013 By Mary van Balen

Not Limelight, but Twilight

By James Scott P. Pignatella

I am a multifaceted person, as most folks are. One of my facets is photography, which started from a Polaroid camera gifted to me when I finished eighth grade. In the twenty-five plus years since, it’s become a semi-professional hobby. Light completely changes the character of a photo. The best photos are not taken at high noon or in the dark of night. The photos with the most character are often taken in the moments of twilight; sunrises, sunsets, or not far from it.

Some of my other facets include that I am Catholic; a scientist, (an engineer, to be precise); a musician; an actor; an outdoorsman; a literary critic; a mentor; an amateur theologian and historian…a bit of a modern day renaissance man, perhaps. I am also a transman, also known as a female-to-male transsexual. That’s the facet that has tended to be problematic for me and for others. I have always been male, but, when I was young, I was not always consistently seen as such. In fact, there were constant expectations made by those who ‘knew better’ for me to be someone I wasn’t, namely a female. I never met those expectations.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Your Stories Tagged With: inclusion