New Year’s Eve

New Year’s Eve

PHOTO: Mary van Balen

PHOTO: Mary van Balen

2013 was coming to an end and I was spending a couple hours of it with Dominican sisters and their friends. We sat in the chapel facing toward the altar and the large glass windows behind it that looked out into a wooded area. Tree trunks and branches sprouted white lights shining bright against the darkness.

After a hymn stories were told of an woman whose son had shot a number of Amish children years ago before killing himself and the forgiveness she received from that community. Parent’s of murdered children had come to her son’s funeral, the first to greet her. Now, that mother takes her weekly turn caring for the most disabled of her son’s living victims. Forgiveness.

Another story. This one of Elie Weisel speaking of the moment he was finally able to forgive God for the holocaust, a moment when he realized God suffered as God’s children suffered at the hands of other members of God’s family. For fifty years, he had been unable to forgive.

Nelson Mandela’s  words were remembered: “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

Peace, these sisters were reminding us, begins in our own hearts, in our ordinary choices. Peace begins with forgiveness, of others, of ourselves.

We sat in quiet for a long time, in the presence of one another and of God. I tired to lose myself in the infinite embrace of the divine. I practiced centering prayer. I breathed in and out, slowly. I felt my own hurt. I tried to feel it and to forgive those who put it there. I became aware of hurts I have caused and hoped someone, somewhere could forgive me, too.

I opened my eyes and looked around me. Movement outside caught my eye. Deer were walking through the glowing trees behind the altar. Not a sound anywhere. The rows of chairs were sparsely occupied by women mostly much older than me: Retired teachers, musicians, and  professors.  Artists. Women who had given their lives to God and to the church which, I am sure for  some anyway, was a cause of pain and hurt. But here they were , a small community, tucked away in some corner of Ohio, praying for peace. Trying to be peace. How many other corners of our country or our world were filled with people, sitting quietly, hoping to learn how to live peace and bring peace and honor God with it? Quiet convents and monasteries. Living rooms and bedrooms. Chapels and city streets. Hospital rooms and party rooms.

We sang the office and then shared snacks and conversation in the common dining room.

For the moment, the world was a more peaceful place.

 

Feast of the Holy Family When You Are Divorced

Feast of the Holy Family When You Are Divorced

by Richard Duarte Brown

by Richard Duarte Brown

I have been divorced for a few years, and unhappily married for many more. So, for quite awhile, this feast was a challenge for me as I sat through homilies that excluded my experience of married life. Today, thankfully, the priest mentioned a wide variety of families beyond the nuclear family. He mentioned those dealing with divorce and with abusive marriages. He also mentioned those who are single, both by choice and by circumstance. The Healthy Children.org website lists eight different configurations for families with children including single parent, grandparents as parents, adoptive/foster, and same sex families.

As I sat and listened to the readings, I reminded myself that I am a member of many families: my family of origin which blessed me with love and wisdom to raise my children as well as to deal with pain and disappointment in my own marriage. I have a family of three wonderful adult children who will always be a deep part of the fabric of my life and who bring me joy and encouragement. I have an extended family of brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, and aunt and cousins. And then there is the family of friends that reach far and wide across the continent and the oceans. There is a parish family who welcomed me for a special evening and meal before midnight mass.

Paul’s letter to the Colossians spoke of another family: The huge, diverse family of the children of God. All other families rest in this one. It is the one Pope Francis calls us to embrace and serve with our lives. It is the one we celebrate when we pray together as a parish or in small, intentional communities.

Sometimes, that big family is a bit too “out there” to feel warm and embracing when you need that. But “close up” families don’t always supply that either. No matter where we find ourselves today: single, divorced, happily married, or suffering through an abusive relationship that is best ended, we can remember we are part of a wonderfully large family of the One who made us all. If we are blessed with support and love around us, we are called to reach out to those who are not. Families, at their best, look out for one another. We are called to be a family at its best.

 

Pope Francis’s Urbi et Orbi Message

Pope Francis’s Urbi et Orbi Message

urbi et orbi 2013Pope Francis addressed the “City and the World” today in the traditional Urbi et Orbi message as thousands gathered to here him and receive the Christmas blessing. (read it here)

Francis asked all to join their voices with those of the angels at the birth of Jesus, singing God’s praises and promising peace on earth. He then gathered all the hurting world into God’s embrace, naming victims of war, especially children, and then the elderly, battered women, and the sick. He named countries suffering from war and violence today, refugees like those who perished at Lampedusa, and children forced to become soldiers. The pope also prayed for the earth, so often exploited by greed.

Reading his words, I sensed his desired to gather all into the loving embrace of God; his hope that all would experience that love and holy Presence. His use of the words “God’s caresses” were particularly tender, and he hoped all would feel them. We don’t feel them in a vacuum. We, citizens of the world, are responsible to give glory to God not only in word, but more importantly, with our lives “spent for love of him and of all our brothers and sisters.”

In a departure from the script, Pope Francis included non believers in his call for prayer for peace, asking them to join with people of all faiths praying for peace by desiring it in their hearts: ” And I also invite non-believers to desire peace with that yearning that makes the heart grow: all united, either by prayer or by desire. But all of us, for peace.”

This pope knows all humanity is in this together. We need one another, no matter the faith, denomination, or no faith. All for peace.

Amen.

DEEPENING: 4 Companions

DEEPENING: 4 Companions

hands Last night, after a lovely evening of dinner and prayer with our long running monthly “Sabbath Group,” I decided to spend the night there. It was my first meeting since knee surgery, and as simple as the gathering was, I was exhausted. Another member of the group spent the night as well. We enjoyed a bit of Bailey’s and conversation before heading up to bed.

This morning I shared prayer with my spiritual director. It is different than sitting alone at home, trying to quiet my spirit and rest in the Holy Presence that always surrounds us. Still, it was definitely “deepening.” We never know where the Spirit will lead when we sit together. She has been my spiritual companion for over a decade. She listens, and helps me listen to God’s movement in my soul. I can always tell when we are getting close to what is deepest and most in need of surfacing for God’s healing touch: tears come. Usually a quiet trickle, though there have been times when the “prayer of tears” is more abundant!

I give thanks for her companionship. Her deep prayer and willingness to share my journey.

This morning there was anger that needed expressed, expectations that needed relinquished, and compassion for self that I find so difficult to give. She assures me the sharing goes both ways and that our time together is blessing for her as well. I don’t doubt that. But this morning I am moved with gratitude for the gift of companioning she shares. I think, too, of other companions on my way. They are not all close by. Some weave through my life like a thread, now visible, now disappearing underneath the fabric of my life, reappearing now and then.

Some have helped me reclaim myself after years of having ignored or lost it. Most are present in less “formal” ways than a spiritual director. But all have shown God’s face to me…

…. Compassionate God, thank you for the people you have placed in our lives, people who have companioned uson this journey to You. Many do not know their importance. They are unaware of the support they have given: a phone call that brings laughter and light into a dark day; an evening at the theater and then coffee and conversation after; an invitation to share a walk on a sunny day.  A visit when we are sick. Inclusion in a celebration. A shoulder to cry on. An opportunity to listen to them and to share their journeys.

You bless us, Holy One, with countless companions on our way. Bless them. Help us hear the call you give to each of us to be messengers of hope, of your love and compassion to one another.    Amen

Called to Notice, Call to Love

Called to Notice, Call to Love

Originally published in the Catholic Times

Sunday’s readings from Deuteronomy and from Luke emphasize two things: God’s law is the law of love, and it resides deep within each of us, as close as our mouths and our hearts. The Old Testament reading is taken from the end of Moses’ speech to the Israelites who had completed the long wanderings in the desert and were on the brink of entering the Promised Land.

Moses had recapped the struggles of their journey, told them blessings come from their curse, and that God would gather them back from the nations where they were scattered. The command Moses gave to the people, to turn back to God with their entire being, was attainable. Unlike Gilgamesh, the hero of the ancient Mesopotamian epic, who traveled to the ends of the earth, to the depths of the sea, and to the heavens, in search of the secrets of the gods, the Israelites had God’s word on their lips and in their hearts. They had only to obey it.

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