After weeks of writing, reading, research, and procrastination, I have told myself today is the day. The day this column will be finished and published, and I can move on to other projects. Why has this one been so difficult to pull together? I had to work through a lot of emotions: anger, frustration, depression, and perplexity to name the most common. But today I’ve decided to stop reading more articles, stop allowing myself to be mired in feelings that pull me down and knock me out. Instead, I’ll write (which is often how I pray and how I work through difficult times) and tell you what I’m feeling. What I’m thinking. What I hope.
Feelings
I’m anxious about the possibility of state-controlled education that will exacerbate divisiveness, hatred, and “othering” in this country and curtail free speech and democracy.
I am deeply concerned. A citizen and former teacher, I shudder reading about the numerous bills (some already laws) introduced in state legislatures and school boards across the country that restrict or outlaw the discussion of issues of diversity, inclusion, and equality. These include topics of sexuality, gender, and systemic racism. While all such attempts to discriminate against people on the margins are terrible and threaten the well-being of students and teachers and the very survival of democracy in this country, this Black History month I’m particularly mindful of those that impact Black Americans and their place in U.S. history.
I’m overwhelmed by the hypocrisy of legislators, governors, mayors, and school board members scurrying to push through laws and resolutions that ARE the very systemic racism that they deny exists now and in our history.
I’m overwhelmed by the fear that motivates such actions and by the hate, discrimination, arrogance, and self-righteousness that it engenders.
I’m overwhelmed by the willingness of people in power to rewrite history to their own advantage and by the effects their efforts (if successful) will have on upcoming generations and the possibility of peace and reconciliation.
I am troubled. A Christian, I feel that many involved in rewriting our history and perpetuating a climate of racism and fear are doing so in the name of Jesus and under the banner of Christianity.
I feel betrayed that more religious leaders, local and national, are not publicly and strongly speaking out against this appropriation of the faith that is fundamentally about trying to live as Jesus lived. Surely, Jesus weeps. He hung out with the marginalized. He chastised those who put down others. His life is a witness to inclusion, of welcoming all into his family.
I flirt with despair that this nation cannot be healed.
Thoughts
I think re-writing history to favor those is power is something authoritarian governments and dictatorships do. Denying that racism is embedded in U.S. history and laws is one way to do this. Another is to threaten teachers who discuss such topics and present truth, uncomfortable as it might be, to their students. It is whitewashing this country’s past.
The term “whitewashing” at one time primarily meant using whitewash to cover a surface. Since the late 1990s in the U.S., it’s also been used in the entertainment field to refer to the use of white actors to portray people of color or to replace people of color with white characters. In 2019, Merriam Webster added this definition of “whitewashing” to its list of meanings: to portray (the past) in a way that increases the prominence, relevance, or impact of white people and minimizes or misrepresents that of nonwhite people. The Cambridge Dictionary defines it as: an attempt to stop people finding out the true facts about a situation.
It takes courage to acknowledge the past, own it, and move forward together to heal the wounds caused by immoral actions, policies, and institutions. Efforts to deny the uglier parts of this country’s past treatment of Black Americans —slavery and systemic racism embedded in laws and institutions for example— make healing the racial divide impossible. Like a bodily wound that festers and becomes infected, the wounds of the past must be exposed, cleaned, and tended to heal. Otherwise, the infection grows and poisons the whole body.
“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.”
– Desmond Tutu
Nelson Mandela and Rev. Desmond Tutu knew this. Mandela created the Truth and Reconciliation Commission and appointed Tutu as its chairman. It gave voice to the victims of apartheid and allowed perpetrators of violence to admit their guilt, seek forgiveness, and receive amnesty. It was about healing not vengeance and helped South Africa move to a democracy. It wasn’t perfect. Nothing is. But it showed the world a way to respond when past crimes are poisoning the present.
The way forward isn’t denial. It is encounter. With the past. With the present. With those wronged and those who perpetrated the wrongs. There is no other way to wholeness.
Jesus knew that.
His life is a witness to honestly facing the hypocrisy of institutions (including religious ones). He didn’t shy away from reminding the Jews of their history—including worship of idols, the murder of prophets for speaking the truth—because facing the past might make them feel uncomfortable or guilty. He didn’t hesitate to call out merchants who were making the temple a “den of thieves.” He named the Pharisees “whitened sepulchers”—pretty to look at but filled with corruption. Jesus didn’t mince words to spare feelings.
His life showed that only in facing personal and institutional sin and history could people and intuitions be healed, made whole, and become a blessing to the world and help build God’s kingdom. His teaching, his life came down to one thing: Love. Love of God and and neighbor, who is everyone. God’s kingdom is a “kindom.” It is filled with people of all ethnicities, skin colors, genders, and sexualities.
Jesus called us to love one another. I admit, I’m not great at that. I struggle to love those I perceive as perpetuating racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, and other “isms” that divide the world into “them – bad” and “us – good.” Deep listening is as difficult as taking action when I’m not sure what I can do to make a difference. Praying is hard when my mind is filled with upsetting news articles about one more shooting of an unarmed Black man or one more legislator jumping on the politically expedient bandwagon of whitewashing agendas.
It’s difficult to “see the log in my own eye” when I’m focused on removing the splinter from someone else’s. It’s easier to see the racism and fear of the “other” embedded in laws and institutions than to recognize it in my own heart.
I think courageous Love is the only way.
But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.
– Martin Luther King, Jr.
Hope
I struggle with hope because I struggle with trust, not only in human beings but in God-with-us. How can I trust in Divine Presence drawing all things into union with itself when the world is in such a mess? When so many in positions of leadership are motivated by greed and the desire to hold on to power rather than to serve the greater good, where is hope?
Yet God calls us to hope. To find light in darkness. To BE light in darkness. To be healers.
To be part of that, I realize the importance of encountering God within me and growing to trust that God resides and moves in all creation, however hidden or unrecognized. I can look for light rather than being overwhelmed by darkness. I can grow in experiencing that all things are connected and that humble as well as spectacular acts of love and healing work together to move humanity toward wholeness.
Will it get there? I don’t know. But I don’t need to know before I open up to receive and to share Love in the places where I am. I don’t need to know, but to trust.
The new dawn blooms as we free it. / For there is always light, / if only we’re brave enough to see it, / if only we’re brave enough to be it.
– Amanda Gorman from her poem “The Hill We Climb”
Read: Langston Hughes’s poem:
“Let American Be America Again”
Photo: Benny Good Public Domain
via Wikimedia Commons
Photo: Nobel Foundation, Public domain,
via Wikimedia Commons
Photo: Carl Van Vechten; cropped by Beyond My Ken (talk) 07:07, 5 August 2010
Public Domain,
via Wikimedia Commons
Amen… Your words are full of grace and hope.
Thanks for writing, Barbara. And thanks for all you have done to awaken students and friends to the gift of Grace in themselves and in the world.
Thank you, Mary, for again putting words to the struggles I’m feeling myself. What is happening with all this whitewashing is shameful. A disgrace to “the land of the free and home of the brave.” I don’t know how faith leaders are able to not only remain silent but actually support the bigots who propose this kind of legislation. I stand with you, my friend. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.
Thanks, Anita. Especially for the words, “We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.” I believe that but find it difficult to know how to be one. We can support one another in the call to oppose what is happening and also (and perhaps most important) to sow seed of Love wherever we are. I always appreciate your comments.
Mary, thank you for sharing your feelings, thoughts, hopes…and most importantly, for opening a wide door to discuss. You point to the very action we should all be taking: To talk about, condemn and change what is happening — before we no longer have the ability to do so.
You’re welcome, Laurie. You are so right. Talking with others about these actions and naming them for what they are is a way forward. How difficult to have those conversations. I appreciate your work for educating students about the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and the Columbus Crossing Borders Project. Perhaps we can find hope in how good people are working for justice, for Love, in ways big and small. Thanks for writing!
Such a good column Mary. I too am fearful of the things happening in our lives and in our country. Jesus surely does weep.
Thanks for writing, Judy. Struggle as we do to remain hopeful, we can’t let fear stop our efforts, however we are able, to speak up and plant seeds of Love in our everyday lives. Easier said than done!
Hi Mary-
Since we have known each other since our age was only a single digit(!), you know very well the more unique vantage point on our social issues I have compared to most senior citizen white women. As you know I have been married to my African American husband for 52 1/2 years. You sang at our wedding! So given this vantage point, it may surprise you that my comments would be filled with optimism. I am a pretty optimistic person by nature but here are my thoughts:
1) This is not a new phenomenon of the “majority” working hard to impose its will and suppress alternate interests. This suppression has been present throughout the history of our country and ebbs and flows in the FORM of the suppression from OVERT ( ex. KKK) to a bit more SUBTLE (ex. Systemic inequities in the racial justice system, one example of many being that those charged but not convicted persons must have the financial means to post bail to exit jail while awaiting trial to prove their innocence. Obviously this results in the release of people of some means while those without linger in prison sometimes for years awaiting trial and those on trial while incarcerated have far lowered chance of a not guilty verdict. There are so many layers of impact related to this one issue but that is another conversation.
2) seems to me that more persons in the “majority” such as perhaps you and some of your readers, are more AWARE of the suppression efforts. These issues are being discussed more because of the awareness (social media can help both positive and suppressive change) and this increased awareness is leading to louder pushback against suppression efforts on many fronts.
3) “The Arc of the Moral Universe is Long, But it Bends Toward Justice.” (MLK) This quote is true because I believe history shows it to be true. There is a pendulum that swings on issues of morality and justice that is a continual one step forward, two steps back. It feels overwhelmingly sad and frightening when we are living in a period that is two steps back. But just like civil rights leaders and advocates for equal justice for all causes have done throughout history, we concerned individuals who hope for equality and justice for all cannot let the bully silence the righteous. We can contribute by having conversations with neighbors and friends to influence thinking as an alternative to their echo chambers. I am constantly amazed, and frankly sad and disappointed, at how many family members and acquaintances who I believe to be basically good folks, are so clueless and hostile about systemic racial injustice. White folks dug in about the thought of “white privilege” because they believed that it negated their hard work to get where they are. It did not. They missed the point: you have no idea what added hurdles your clone black brethren had to overcome to get to the same place. How could you know unless you maybe have been walking hand in hand on a life journey with a person of color and have witnessed the many, many small and sometimes large attempts made by individuals and also the anonymous systems to keep that person from achieving? Yet still they rise. Not in numbers that might otherwise be possible with lighter skin and straighter hair, yet still they rise.
SO PLEASE DON’T LET THE EFFORTS OF THOSE WHO SEEK TO SUPPRESS VOTERS, TEACHERS, and on and on, to SUPPRESS YOUR VOICE of outrage.
The world needs each of your voices whether loudly or in regular conversations. The world needs you to not to waste a day of inactivity because the action of others is discouraging you. That is the only way we will continue to ensure that the arc of the moral universe bends toward justice, ever so slowly yes, but bend it will. Okay, I need a second cup of coffee after that! Hope I was able to cobble some thoughts together that are helpful and encouraging.
Thank you, Nancy, for taking the time to share your thoughts and insights. You do have a perspective that, as you say, many White, senior women do not. You are right that efforts of suppression of are not a new phenomenon (and certainly not restricted to our time and place) and that more recently, increased awareness triggers more intense pushback. John Lewis reminded us of the ongoingness of the struggle eloquently in his last essay written shortly before his death: “Together You can Redeem the Soul of Our Nation,” published in the New York Times. We must step up, speak out, and get in good trouble, as he said. It is good to take the long view, as you say, and to help make it possible to stay hopeful in times of “two steps back” and work as we can for the “one step forward.” Thanks again for taking so much time to share your insights and some hope.
Thank you Mary for getting these thoughts out for us to ponder. For me the question is how do I become “the light” and how do I become “love” without trying to make it some kind of a virtue that separates me from others?
You’re welcome, Ed. The challenge for each of us is as you say – finding a way to share Light and Love in this world. It’s helpful to know we aren’t the only ones struggling to find that way!
What can we fix our hope on? Prophets? Institutions? Democratic Party? Women in Power?
We have to grasp hold of someone or something and can’t leave it hang in space.
Thanks for writing Wilfred, and sharing your questions. I don’t have answers. I think of John Lewis and his optimism even as he approached death. He had suffered so much and yet somehow had faith that those who were coming after him would continue the work and make a difference. I am trying to stay hopeful and do what I can, where I am, to be one of the many who are trying to continue the work. But as you say, it’s difficult.
Thank you Mary.. your words gave voice to my thoughts . I wish it could be published for MANY others to see.
Marilyn Larkin
I appreciate your words, Marilyn, and am glad the column helped you find voice for your thoughts. Feel free to share the column with anyone you’d like.
Thank you for sharing thoughts that so many of us feel. It also serves as a reminder not to let our anger envelope us while we push for change. If only everyone would follow the one sentence ” Love of God and neighbor, who is everyone.” This simple sentence has the ability to change so many things.
You’re welcome, Carla. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. That one sentence provides a way forward toward healing and change, as you say.
I am reading from an outsiders’ persecutive and you put me to shame for not knowing more of what is going on in my own country, Scotland. I suspect we ae coming from a very different place but surely these issues must be world-wide. I so agree with you about the only way forward is to love our neighbour but I also understand that this is difficult to put into practice with those whose being seems focused on the attitudes you mention: racism, sectarianism (I come from Belfast), sexism. But yes, I can be light in the darkness, even in my small corner of this world.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. You are right. No matter what the situations are in our own countries, wherever we are, we can be light.
As always Mary, your words are full of the challenges and sins of our humanity! From one viewpoint, it seems too much to overcome and change. But there is always God’s presence and the inner self that is focused on following the example of Jesus. It is a lifelong process, but one that the suffering of Jesus and the Resurrection are our reality.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful gift of living words !!!
You are welcome, Mary Ellen. And thank you for sharing yours!