Rev. Bob Graetz, civil rights leader, speaking about civil rights issues of today. PHOTO: Mary van Balen So the guards went to the chief priests and Pharisees, who asked them, “Why did you not bring him? ”The guards answered, “Never before has anyone spoken like this man.” So the Pharisees answered them, “Have you also been deceived? Have any of the authorities or the Pharisees believed in him? But this crowd, which does not know the law, is accursed.” Jn 7,45-49

While gathered with friends for a prayerful evening, I listened as one of them read aloud from “Charter of Rights” for Catholics In the Church,” based on Vatican I documents, the Social Justice teachings especially as articulated by Pope Paul VI in “The Progress of Peoples.” The first right listed was that, “All Catholics have the right to follow their informed consciences in all matters.”

I thought of that as I read today’s gospel. Those who heard Jesus speak, even those sent to arrest him, were riveted by his words. How could one arrest a man who spoke like that? Jesus spoke Truth, and Truth finds resonance in human hearts enlivened by the indwelling of that same Truth, the Spirit.I imagine even the most hardened of hearts felt a stir when hearing Jesus preach, or perhaps even when he simply walked by. The Divine spark placed in every person recognizes itself and moves toward unity with the Holy One.

The Pharisees were having trouble keeping their minions under control. Sent to bring Jesus back, they returned instead with questions and awe for Jesus. “Never before has anyone spoken like this man,” they said. They were in the presence of Truth and knew it.

What kept the Pharisees from experiencing a similar pull towards God in their midst? The clung to the Law, and to the arrogance that allowed them to believe that they alone understood it in its wholeness. The assumed they knew Jesus, where he was from, and what he was about. They could not believe that God would speak to ordinary people and that they would understand and respond. That was the domain of the learned, schooled in Law and its interpretation.

Nicodemus, one of their own, challenged the Pharisees to give Jesus the chance to speak and to listen to him before making judgements. The Pharisees’ minds were already made up. Jesus would have to go.

Just as in Jesus’ time, being aware of the movement of the Divine within us and following its lead takes courage and perseverance. Following the Spirit within as well as being aware of the larger context of the community and its laws and directives requires courage. How difficult was it for the guards to return with full hearts and empty hands? What inner strength did Nicodemus draw on to question the Pharisees’ judgement?

Lenten practices help us become more attuned to the Spirit that dwells within each of us, the Spirit sent by Jesus to help us continue his work of bringing the Kingdom.

Holy One, give us perseverance to remain faithful as we continue our efforts to become more aware of you in our lives. Give us wisdom to recognize your movement in our souls and the courage to be faithful to it. Amen
© 2001 Mary van Balen

In a departure from Lenten reflections, I must address the Federal Budget negotiations. First, cuts to reduce the deficit have been proposed that disproportionately target programs that serve the poor and vulnerable. These programs are not where the big money is found. In the big picture, eliminating them all would do little to reduce federal spending. Many people of many faiths, and some of no particular religious affiliation, are fasting to raise awareness and to pray for responsible decisions regarding the budget.

This morning I read in a NY Times article that one of the sticking points was now a Republican proposals for “…measures that would restrict the regulatory powers of the Environmental Protection Agency, a favorite target of Republicans since they took over the House, by preventing the agency from enforcing significant portions of the Clean Air Act and regulating carbon emissions.”

This, after we saw in dramatic fashion in the Gulf oil spill, what can happen when companies are left to regulate themselves? This, when the tragedy in Japan has focused world attention on the need for clean energy and research into alternative energy sources?

I do not mean to imply that every business is guilty, but many are, and many that are have huge impacts on the environment. I have recently returned from a country where the moves for vehicle emissions controls and stiffer regulations on manufacturing companies are far behind our own. One of the first things I thought when embarking back home was “Thank God for the EPA!”

I have spent the morning calling and emailing senators and representatives. If you share my concern, I encourage you to do the same.
© 2011 Mary van Balen

The Dance of God? Credits: X-ray: NASA/CXC/CfA/E. O’Sullivan Optical: Canada-France-Hawaii-Telescope/Coelum Remember your servants Abraham, Isaac and Israel, and how you swore to them by your own self, saying,‘I will make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky; and all this land that I promised,I will give your descendants as their perpetual heritage.’“So the LORD relented in the punishment he had threatened to inflict on his people.
Ez 32,13-14

Today’s first reading brings to mind a question that theologians and thoughtful believers have grappled with for centuries: Can God change?

Hebrew Scriptures contain numerous passages where God “changes his mind.” In the New Testament, Jesus shows emotion when he weeps over Jerusalem and at the tomb of Lazarus. Can prayers and entreaties for mercy change God’s plans?

Part of the dilemma stems from the idea that perfection is unchangeable. If perfection changes, it can only change to less than perfection. So, if God is perfect, God cannot change. This is a static perception of God.

There are other ideas that do not share the static, dualistic (perfect or not) way of approaching God. One of these is looking at God as a dynamic relationship among the Divine persons: As Christians, we could say the relationship of the Trinity. God is not three unchanging persons, but the relationship, the love, the “dance” of three.

Has this “dance” spilled over and “become” creation? Did God will to create and to draw us ever deeper into a relationship with the Infinite, into the “Dance?”

Reflecting on these questions and allowing ourselves to think in new ways about God can deepen our expereince of the Holy One. It can take us to a “broad place,” (Ps 118,5) to look at God with fresh eyes. Today’s reading made me think and sent me to books and the internet to delve deeper into the mystery of how God relates to me, to us, to creation.

As we continue our spiritual journey of Lent, let’s ponder Jesus’ birth, death, and resurrection as God’s most direct invitation: Come, dance with Me.
© 2011 Mary van Balen

PHOTO: Mary van Balen But Zion said, “The LORD has forsaken me;
my Lord has forgotten me.”
Can a mother forget her infant,
be without tenderness for the child of her womb?
Even should she forget,
I will never forget you.

Is 49,14-15

“No, my mother is bringing my lunch over,” my second grade daughter told the boy who had offered to share a sandwich. We had been running late that morning, and I didn’t have time to pack her lunch.

“Don’t worry, honey. I will bring it over before you head to the cafeteria,” I said when I dropped her off at school.

I am not sure what waited for me at home, but the hours passed and I completely forgot about taking over a lunch.

“No thank you,” my daughter said with a smile when one of her teachers offered to buy a lunch for her. “My mother said she would bring my lunch over. She won’t forget.”

I don’t remember if I completely missed her lunch hour or if I made it during the last five minutes, but suddenly, I remembered my promise, threw together a lunch, and rushed it over to the school which was across town.

A sad little girl met me in the hall.

“You forgot me, mom,” she said sadly. She might as well have stuck a knife in my heart. On the drive home I told myself all mothers forget sometimes, but still I felt horrible. No one wants to disappoint those they love.

Today’s first reading is full of the Lord’s promises to the prophet and to God’s people: He will provide food and water so they will not hunger or thirst; he will protect them; he will even cut roads through the mountains for them. The passage ends with the beautiful reference to the love of a mother for her child. God promises not to forget.

That promise is hard to believe. Like my young daughter, we have all been disappointed in those whom we trust. We have all felt forgotten by family and friends. We have all felt alone. How can we believe that the Maker of the Universe will not forget us? How can the Mother of All keep each of us in mind?

Such belief is a choice.

Despite life’s difficulties, I believe God’s love is fierce; it is constant. A mother’s love for her child is a reflection, however imperfect, of God’s ever mindful love of her children.
© 2011 Mary van Balen

PHOTO: Mary van Balen Along the bank of the river I saw very many trees on both sides. Wherever the river flows,every sort of living creature that can multiply shall live,and there shall be abundant fish, for wherever this water comes the sea shall be made fresh. Along both banks of the river, fruit trees of every kind shall grow…
Ez 47,7;9

Therefore we fear not, though the earth be shaken
and mountains plunge into the depths of the sea.
R. The Lord of hosts is with us; our stronghold is the God of Jacob.
Ps 46,3

The water that feeds the river in the first reading comes from the sanctuary and restores arid land to fertility. What lives in the water and what grows on its banks will never fail. God is its source.

The responsorial psalm speaks of disasters. While the images used are meant to represent all types of calamities, verse three brought the recent earthquake and tsunami to mind.

One reading presents an idyllic picture of fecundity and peace. The other, destruction beyond imagining. What do they have in common? The Presence of God.

Divine generosity is easy to see in the first: life, abundance, and in later verses, food and medicine. God’s Grace is more difficult to comprehend in the second. Why would the earth shake to its depths and mountains tumble into the sea? Where is God in the midst of death and destruction?

The eyes of faith see what physical eyes miss: God is With Us always, as promised from old, as manifest in the birth of Jesus, and as celebrated in his death and resurrection.

God’s faithful Presence is not obvious when we look from places of suffering and despair. During those times we must draw on faith, on recalling God’s walk with us in times past. “Therefore, we fear not,” the psalmist sings. No matter what happens, God is our refuge.

Our Lenten practices are meant to open the eyes of faith, to strengthen our faith. In the midst of his agonizing death, Jesus wondered aloud why God had abandoned him. Still, he died with faith, handing his spirit over to the God he could not feel or see, but whom he trusted to be there to receive it.
© 2011 Mary van Balen

PHOTO: NASA

Thus says the LORD:
Lo, I am about to create new heavens
and a new earth;
Is 65,17

Yesterday I read an AP article Tweaking the climate to save it: Who decides?about a group of scholars, scientists, philosophers, lawyers, and politicians who gathered in Chicheley Hall in a remote English countryside to discuss the possibility of reflecting sunlight away from earth in order to counteract global warming.

As Kenyan earth scientist Richard Odingo said, playing God can be tempting. Another countered with the remark that the whole idea was unsettling. The problem is that not enough is being done to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, and unless that changes rapidly, disaster could result if a “Plan B” is not in place.

The problem with Plan B is, well, we are not God and we don’t know what long term effects of such a “sunshade project” would be. Who would decide what to do and when? Researching technologies does not mean they should be used, but humanity has been down that road a few times: If it is possible, it is usually done.

Reducing greenhouse emissions is hard work. It requires changes in lifestyles, in worldview, in energy production. President Obama recently laid out an energy plan that included aggressive research and development of alternative fuel sources. Such research has been proposed for decades with little actually done about it. Doing something now is imperative, but I wonder if it is too little too late.

Knowing that such a group has seen the need to convene and discuss what had been unthinkable in the past is unsettling. Are the people of this planet able to come together to address such a dilemma? Evidence suggests not.

“We have a lot of thinking to do,” the Kenyan Odingo told the others. “I don’t know how many of us can sleep well tonight.”

We have a lot of praying to do, too.
© 2011 Mary van Balen

Jesus MAFA The man answered and said to them,
“This is what is so amazing,
that you do not know where he is from, yet he opened my eyes.
We know that God does not listen to sinners,
but if one is devout and does his will, he listens to him.
It is unheard of that anyone ever opened the eyes of a person born blind.
If this man were not from God,
he would not be able to do anything.”
They answered and said to him,
“You were born totally in sin,
and are you trying to teach us?”
Then they threw him out.
Jn 9,30-34

How dare a sinful man try to teach anything to the Pharisees? After expressing their outrage, the Pharisees threw the man out. What little regard they had for the miraculous that stood before them! What blindness they exhibited; those who claimed to see!

The man cured of blindness stuck to his story and refused to repeat it again when it was met with unbelief. He was unbowed by the authority of those in positions of power not because of his learning or holiness. He stood unflinching before them because he knew what he had experienced: Jesus rubbed mud on his eyes, commanded him to wash it off, and now, blind from birth, he could see. Who can argue with that?

Pharisees, evidently. Those so caught up in rules (can’t heal on the Sabbath) or threatened by what they cannot control or understand.

The blind man has something to teach all of us. We should trust in our personal experiences of God-with-Us. Those experiences most likely did not occur in a church building. Perhaps they did not happen “according to the rules.” Those moments may not have resulted in physical miracles, but they healed hearts. They renewed spirits. They gave strength.

Today is Latare Sunday. We are more than halfway through Lent. Rejoice! the Latin word commands. This is a good day to reflect on the gospel and remember times God has touched us through prayer, through others, through the glories of creation. We remember times when God has walked with us through suffering, or remains our sole hope.

We read the gospel and pray to have the eyes of our hearts open to recognize God’s transforming Presence within us, rejoice, and rest in that comforting embrace.
© 2011 Mary van Balen

King David “The Pharisee took up his position and spoke this prayer to himself,‘O God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of humanity — greedy, dishonest, adulterous — or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week…But the tax collector stood off at a distance and would not even raise his eyes to heaven but beat his breast and prayed,‘O God, be merciful to me a sinner.’
I tell you, the latter went home justified, not the former;for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled,and the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
Lk 18, 11-14

Still, you insist on sincerity of heart; in my inmost being teach me wisdom.
Ps 51,8

Attributed to King David, this penitential psalm asks for forgiveness after David’s affair with Bathsheba. David recognized his sinfulness and offered his broken heart, asking God to wash away his guilt and to allow him to remain in the Divine Presence.

Recognition of personal sins and brokenness need not bring despair, but can allow one to open his heart and accept God’s mercy and Grace.

The Pharisee in the gospel reading presents a heart very different from that of David. The Pharisee’s heart was full of himself, prideful and arrogant. He saw no need for God’s forgiveness. He was thankful not for God’s mercy, but for his own excellence.

A heart filled with self has little room for God. It has little chance of growing in wisdom.

Lent is long. Perhaps we have not been as faithful to our chosen disciplines as we intended to be four weeks ago. Maybe Lent has made us more aware of where we fail. We may be tempted to become discouraged, to give up.

David’s example teaches us to do otherwise. Even one anointed king to lead God’s people falls. He does not give up, but remembers God’s faithfulness and asks to cleansed from his sin, to be made whiter than snow.

He trusted God’s infinite love. We can, too. God desires not perfect hearts, but humble ones, ones with room for Grace to enter.
© 2011 Mary van Balen

PHOTO: Mary van Balen “Three snows after the forsythia blooms”

How long will it last, O Lord?
Will you be angry for ever?
Will your anger blaze up like a fire?
Mid-Morning (Terce) Ps 79,5

My grandma, Becky, used to share this folk wisdom about forsythia and snow each spring as we waited for warm weather to arrive and stay. While on a walk this morning, I saw these forsythia blooms capped with snow that fell the day before: “One,” I counted.

I relish lingering cold weather, not one to bask in summer heat, but I know I do not share that sentiment with many in this mid-western state. Becky’s adage can also serve as a metaphor for spiritual life and vitality.

As we journey through Lent, we hope for the triumph of Easter Resurrection to fill us with joy and to strengthen our faith. Is Easter what does that? Or is it the waiting, the faithful perseverance of our journey that works this miracle in our souls?

Preparing our souls for Grace is like preparing spring gardens for seed. Tilling, clearing old growth, and breaking up clods of earth make beds to welcome seeds, sun, and water. Lent provides time for practices that do the same for our spirits, so when Easter arrives, we are ready to celebrate and receive the Spirit of the feast.

However, just as a Mid-west spring often is slow to arrive and must suffer snow and freezing temperatures, our spirits may not be ready by Easter Sunday. I have known Easters to come and go while my spirit feels as dry and empty as ever.

Then I remember Becky’s wisdom that even in springtime, snow falls. Like the bright yellow blooms, I try to remain hopeful and have faith that in God’s time, the Son will shine and my heart will be ready and open to bask in the warmth.
© 2011 Mary van Balen

So they grumbled against Moses. ‘Give us water to drink’ they said. Moses answered them. ‘Why do you grumble against me? Why do you put the Lord to the test?’ But tormented by thirst, the people complained against Moses. ‘Why did you bring us out of Egypt?’ they said. ‘Was it so that I should die of thirst, my children too, and my cattle?’ Moses appealed to the Lord.
‘How am I to deal with this people?” he said. ‘A little more and they will stone me!’
Ex 17, 2-4

After camping in a place without water, the Israelites complained, wondering why Moses had led them out of Egypt in the first place. From the hardships of the desert, slavery wasn’t looking so bad. At least slavery as they were remembering it at the moment.

Sometimes, having made choices that lead us to a particular place or situation in life, we can become discouraged with where we are and question why we chose as we did. Uncomfortableness of change makes the old and familiar appealing once again, no matter how bad they really were.

In the case of the wandering Israelites, they were wondering why Moses, at the command of God, had led them to a hostile desert. Was God’s hand in their escape from Egypt or not? If so, they demanded water to drink.

When life is challenging and difficult, when it seems to test us beyond our abilities to survive, we may have the same doubts about God’s Presence with us. Our “old life,” while not perfect, is preferable to one we are not up to living.

Moses was exasperated with the people, but God did not seem to mind. Instead of anger, God responded to their cries with a miracle: With a rap of Moses’ staff, God makes water flow from a rock. The people drank, and were reassured: God walked with them after all.

In my life, I sometimes cry out time and again without seeing or feeling a response. This time of God’s silence seems interminable. Yet, I continue to cry out. I continue to expect something good to happen.

Am I foolish? Unrealistic? Perhaps. Certainly in a reasoned or logical way, my persistence at prayer seems foolish. Sometimes I feel foolish and my faith wavers.

When I read this story, I can identify with the exhausted, thirsty people. I know what trying to keep three children satisfied can be like. Mothers traipsing through the dessert with young ones would have been tired beyond endurance if their husbands pitched camp in a place with no water.

I would like to say I identify with Moses, frustrated by their lack of faith. But, I know myself too well, and this stretch of my life has at times, seemed like a desert with no watering hole.

I need to remind myself of the good that has come from struggle and pain. Like water from the rock, blessings have gushed out of difficult situations. Not always as quickly as I would like, but in the end, I survive. Sometimes I even flourish.
© 2011 Mary van Balen