Inching Into This Century: Amazing Bluetooth

Inching Into This Century: Amazing Bluetooth

outside with speakerI’m not completely Bluetooth challenged. I have a Bluetooth keyboard and mouse for my computer and iPad. But, last week, after a year without anything to play music in my house (unless you count the TV, which I hate to use because the entire time the CD is on, so is the TV’s blue screen), I decided to shop and not return without a speaker of some sort to use with my ipod/ipad. I’ve procrastinated too long to buy an iHome docking radio and speaker. Why didn’t I buy that one I saw at Target six months ago. Now, my 4th generation iPod is “old,” its 30 pin connector replaced by “lightening connect.”

I drove to the closest Apple store. No matter what you think of Apple products, their stores are full of knowledgeable people who get paid to help you. The man who helped me sort through bluetooth speakers was a musician and did some music producing on the side. How lucky could I get. He didn’t mind endless questions, playing and replaying classical music through speakers until I narrowed it down to two. Other customers were turning to look at us as my Apple guy turned the volume up so I could hear differences between how the two handled volume and put out bass as compared to midrange signals.

“They’re looking at us,” I ventured. “Maybe it’s too loud.”

“No problem. You’re just as important as any other customer here. You need to hear the sound before you can know what you like.”

I deferred.

And walked out with a cool cylindrical speaker that I can take anywhere. It is water resistant so if it gets caught out in the rain, no problem. You can even use it in the shower if you want, as long as it not directly in the water stream. OK. I don’t need it in the shower.

The next hurdle was loading my iPod with music, something I had been avoiding. Emboldened by my purchase, I did just that. So, today, I decided to do some writing outside. I put my iPod near a window and set the speaker along with my computer and a cup of tea on the table in the backyard. Amazing. Bach and I outside, watching big dark clouds blow by. I savored the cool air and prayed that the yard service across the street would stop at trimming with a weed whacker and leave the grass cutting to a sunnier day. Nothing drives me inside faster than people cutting lawns. My lungs hurt just thinking about it.

No grass cutters. No rain. Just beautiful music and thoughts and a computer to receive them.

I love quiet and don’t mind spending entire days in silence getting in touch with Grace in my life. I also love music. It has its own way of helping us be in touch with the Sacred in our midst. Now I have music to go!

Grace of a Beautiful Morning

Grace of a Beautiful Morning

The Sower (Sower with Setting Sun) Van Gogh 1888

The Sower (Sower with Setting Sun) Van Gogh 1888

A loud alarm woke me around 7:30 this morning. Not my plan on a day off. I walked into the living room, looked out windows, trying to figure out what the emergency was. Turned out it was an Amber Alert from my smart phone. That was a first. Groggily I looked through email and then perused facebook. A fellow writing workshop participant, Lisa Nochols Hickman, has a new book out: Mercy and Melons: Praying the AlphabetIt sounds great. It’s also the second book she has published since our workshop. I know I haven’t been a slacker (negative self-talk my daughters would say) but while I have completed one book that was in process during the workshop, I have not made much progress on another that has been incubating in my mind. So, I packed up my computer and a few letters that needed mailed, and walked out my door, heading to Panera’s to write.

The beauty of the morning stopped me in my tracks. Cool clear air. Blue, blue skies. And hours and hours stretching before me. I stood in the driveway, gulping in  the air, wishing I had memorized some of Mary Oliver’s poems. Even without her words, I could savor her spirit of knowing prayer in embracing the gifts of creation.

This morning’s gospel was the parable of the sower. I know God’s word sometimes falls on the parts of my heart that are rocky, or filled with thorns, or thin of nurture. But today, I prayed, may it fall on the part that is full of good soil, take root, and find its way into the words I write.

With gratitute: Thanks be to God!

 

 

Prayer: When Words Fail

Prayer: When Words Fail

PHOTO: Mary van Balen

PHOTO: Mary van Balen

 

Let me seek, then, the gift of silence, and poverty, and solitude, where everything I touch is turned into prayer: where the sky is my prayer, the birds are my prayer, the wind in the trees is my prayer, for God is in all.

Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude

Jesus Weeps

Photo by James McGinnis

Photo by James McGinnis

The headlines are difficult to read: Plane shot down over war zone, man struggles for two hours during his execution, turning children away at the border, Christians driven from their ancient homeland in Iraq, rising casualties in the Gaza war, conflict escalation in Ukraine, teenagers bludgeoning a homeless man to death…I can’t bear to read much of it. If my heart is weeping, what about the One who created this universe, this exquisite planet and all the people on it?

There are bright spots for sure: New executive orders that provide protection for many among us, interest in wind power in Texas, individuals responding to others in need, moving reception of bodies from Malaysian flight 17 tragedy as the Netherlands declares a national day of mourning and accepts and honors all victims remains regardless of nationality. Good things do happen. We don’t hear about them as much.

This morning, all I could do was sit quietly and hold the world in my heart before God in prayer….and let my tears mingle with those shed by the Divine.

Reentry

Reentry

PHOTO: Mary van Balen

PHOTO: Mary van Balen

Reentry is always a challenge whether one is returning to work or school from vacation, rejoining estranged groups of family or friends, adjusting to changing seasons, or for a select few, taking the bumpy ride back into earth’s atmosphere from a stint in outer space. When we “enter again” we are not the same people we were when we left. If they do what is intended, vacations change us into more relaxed and revitalized versions of ourselves. Engaging again with people who have caused us hurt or pain or whom we have hurt and avoided requires growth and maturity, an open heart and a bit of courage. I can’t imagine the change in perspective that affects those human beings who have had the privilege of seeing the earth from outer space. (A stunning book of photographs and reflections of astronauts from around the world give a glimpse into that experience: The Home Planet by Kevin W. Kelley ed. with a forward by Jacques-Yves Cousteau. I am not sure it is available to purchase, but you might find a used copy or one in a library.)

Wherever we are coming from and going to, retuning to life’s routines after a time away presents opportunities. Can I return to work without allowing the pace, atmosphere, and demands overwhelm me? If it’s a job I don’t like, can I keep a positive attitude and look for what is good in it? Am I able to let go of anger and the urge to see just one point of view, mine, when attempting to reconnect with those I’ve been avoiding?

I’m experiencing a reentry myself. After a ten day residency for a two-year spiritual guidance program, I’m doing laundry and preparing to return to work, writing, and family connections. It’s not easy. While the schedule was full of presentations, reflections, and hard work, it also provided a silent sabbath of retreat for a couple of days. The class had gathered from around the country and new and deep friendships were begun.

For ten days I didn’t have to prepare food or wash dishes. I could wander around the fifty-acre spiritual center in Maryland listening to birds and watching deer, foxes, and fireflies. On the night of the Perigee Moon (Super Moon) I found a comfortable place to sit and kept vigil with binoculars and a camera, fueled by a homemade chocolate chip cookie and cup of tea.

Part of the gift of the residency was the opportunity to cultivate a quiet, listening heart, sharing silence as well as conversation and presentations as a group. We focused on the Divine Presence in our lives and in the lives of those we serve. We held in prayer those dear to us, those hurting in our world torn by violence, and creation that offers solace and grace even while reeling from effects of 7 billion people living on the planet.

The night before we would all return home, our class had a party. Spontaneous. Food showed up on tables. People pitched in to arrange the space. Lots of talk. Lots of laughter. I walked over to add some snacks to my plate and laughed when I saw what a couple of clever folks had added to the offerings: From Trader Joes: Inner Peas. From Brewer’s Art in Maryland: Resurrection Beer.

Two things to remember as I ease back into life at home: Take time to be still and to cultivate the sense of living in the Divine Presence.  Have faith that God brings good from all things and invites us to be part of bringing Grace into the world, into our time and place and to rest in the Spirit that blows where it will.

And, when I forget, I just might pick up a bag of Inner Peas, wash them down with some Resurrection Beer and move into prayerful silence.

Slowing Down

Slowing Down

Photo: Mary van Balen

Photo: Mary van Balen

 

“Speed Bump Ahead” The warning to slow down. An apt sign for the road along the property of Holy Trinity Spiritual Center in Maryland. It is, indeed, a place to slow down.

I hadn’t realized how much I needed to heed the admonition. Too busy to notice, I guess. I thought I was doing pretty well. Squeezing in scripture readings and some quiet prayer. Well, not as much as I’d like. The busyness of work and the rest of life had become routine. Normal. As it does.

I’m a proponent of meeting God in the moment. Any moment. Every moment. But, it seems, taking time now and then to be still and let my soul catch up with my body, is necessary to allow those God moments to sink in. And, I am finding, slowing down after months of barreling ahead takes longer than slowing down when it is a habit. A bit like putting the brakes on when driving a big truck or my little Civic. One takes longer to stop than the other.

PHOTO: Mary van Balen

PHOTO: Mary van Balen

So, I am grateful for ten days at this center. There are sessions filled with information and words and movement, but also with times of silence. I am grateful.

I ended this night sitting outside with binoculars, a homemade chocolate chip cookie, and a super moon rising above the trees. I’m slowing down!

Blessed Rain of Grace

Blessed Rain of Grace

Photo: Mary van Balen

Photo: Mary van Balen

First published in The Catholic Times  July 13, 2014 issue

 

I love the words of the Lord proclaimed by Isaiah in Sunday’s first reading and find them to be a great source of hope. Perhaps it’s the simplicity of the metaphor: Rain and snow and the word of God.

“Just as from the heavens the rain and snow come down and do not return there till they have watered the earth, making it fertile and fruitful, giving seed to the one who sows and bread to the one who eats, so shall my word be….”

Despite countless acres of concrete and asphalt that stretch and tangle around the globe, the majority of rain and snow that fall from the sky land on ground that can soak it up. Last night, hearing thunder in the distance, I walked outside, pulled up a lawn chair, and watched towering clouds move quickly across the sky. Leaves rustled turning bottom up as the storm blew in.

Potted herbs behind me released wafts of rosemary, basil, oregano, and sage as big cold drops hit their leaves. Birds hurried to shelter and a rabbit scampered quickly across the lawn and under a bush. Rain came harder and I retreated inside, carrying the smell of summer rain.

Eventually, water that isn’t sucked up by vegetation or that isn’t trapped deep below the surface returns to the air. The great water cycle we all studied in grade school science class. The moisture doesn’t disappear, it just changes form for a while until conditions are right, and after gathering in clouds, it drops to the earth once again.

“…so shall my word  be” says the Lord. “…my word that goes forth from my mouth; my word shall not return to me void, but shall do my will, achieving the end for which I sent it.”

I think of Jesus, the Word of God, who came and accomplished his mission. Saturated with the One who sent him, he could not help but reveal the Holy Mystery. Jesus lived life in accordance with God’s will: To love unconditionally, loving all and calling them to share in Divine life, as he did. Jesus, the Word of God from before all time, came and watered our souls with Love so they could be fruitful.

God’s word also falls into our selves through words of scripture. As we listen to readings at Mass or ponder them at home, the Truth makes the soil of our hearts fertile, able to bring forth God’s life and love into our daily lives and into the world.

We also are God’s word, a bit of Mystery spoken into flesh sent with purpose. Sometimes, I find myself wondering what mine is at the moment. I’m a mother, daughter, sister, and aunt. I’ve been a teacher, author, and social worker. Still, I wonder: What is the word that I am given to speak in the world today? What am I to do that will “achieve the end for which” I am sent into this “now.”

Sometimes God’s purpose for us seems clear. Perhaps it is parenting years. Or times when we comfort the sick or serve those in our family or circle of friends who need help. Sometimes we may be part of something much bigger than ourselves that makes a visible difference in the world. As I write, we are celebrating the 50th anniversary of President Lyndon B. Johnson signing the Civil Rights Act into law.

Those who were part of that effort from politicians to civil rights leaders, to ordinary people who spoke up and refused to give in to the racist world view…those people were words sent forth from the mouth of God and they spoke their truth.

It’s often in ordinary times that we have difficulty recognizing ourselves as God’s word spoken into the world. It was easier for me when I worked with abused women. Not so clear as a retail associate. Yet, there I am. There we are. In mundane jobs, in ordinary family circumstances, in places we never expected to be.

Simple. Like rain falling from the sky. We do our jobs. We love. We persevere. And the Civil Rights Acts becomes law, or a child learns to read, or a food pantry is stocked, or dinner is prepared, or a lonely soul receives a smile.

I don’t know the details of God’s plan. I know it is about loving and service. And that Holy Word and blessed rain of Grace will fall into our hearts and make it come to be.

© 2014 Mary van Balen

Being One

Being One

Andrej Rublëv -  Trinity

Andrej Rublëv – Trinity

 

First published in The Catholic Times, June 15, 2014  Volume 63:34

Easter season is over and we now begin the long liturgical period of Ordinary Time. This Sunday we celebrate Trinity Sunday. I’d like to reflect on this mystery by pondering Jesus’ words from last week’s readings. They speak of the coming of the Holy Spirit and the unity of all three Persons of the Trinity as well as our inclusion in Divine Life shared.

Last Thursday, in a reading from John, Jesus proclaims his heart’s desire in prayer. Approaching death, his thoughts turn to those who follow him. He doesn’t wish for earthly power or anything for himself, but desires that all those who believe in him may share in the union that he shares with the One who sent him. It is a prayer of love. A radical love.

Throughout his life, Jesus showed his disciples what that love looked like. It was washing feet. It was taking care of others. He told Peter, “Feed my sheep.” It was speaking the truth regardless of consequences. It was being with the outcast and those on the fringes of society. It was living simply with passion for the kingdom rather than for riches. While the words of that gospel are beautifully poetic, they demand sacrifice.

Jesus prays that all will come to perfection “as one,” not as individuals. We come to healing and salvation together with one another and with God. Our journey is not about personal salvation; it’s about the salvation of the world. Closing ourselves off from the problems of our world and pursing our own “holiness” would be easier. Leaving the messiness behind is tempting, whether violence, poverty, oppression, or care of the planet. Jesus tells us that’s not how it’s done.

I’m often overwhelmed by the challenges facing us and our world today. What can one person do? Is Jesus’ prayer too much to hope for? If we were on our own, the answer surely would be “Yes,” but he reassures us. We are not alone. We have Divine Love moving within us. “…I made known to them your name and I will make it known, that the love with which you loved me may be in them and I in them.”

On Pentecost we celebrated the coming of that Love, the Spirit. In that day’s readings Paul’s letter the Corinthians states that though we are many, we are one. The gifts of the Spirit are unique in each of us, but they are given for the same purpose: “To each individual the manifestation of the Spirit is given for some benefit.” When the challenges of our times overwhelm, we do well to remember this. Each one’s actions are joined with the actions of all others. God’s work is done by all together, healing all by the work God in all.

Sometimes what we do seems to make little difference whether at home, at work, or in the larger community, but we don’t see the whole picture. In spring, we plant seeds. That’s our part. What nourishes them and brings them to maturity bearing fruit, that’s Another’s work. We put small dormant kernels of life into dark earth, wait, and trust. Our call in the world is similar. We do our best and trust that God, gathering all our efforts, will do the rest.

The other two Pentecost readings gave us different accounts of the coming of the Spirit. One, from Acts, is dramatic: a howling wind driving through the house, tongues of fire descending. The other is quieter: Jesus came through locked doors to be with his disciples who were gathered in fear. “Peace be with you,” he said, and he breathed on them. The Spirit came with breath. Either way, the message is the same: The Living God is within us, the source of our gifts and our call as well as the power to be faithful to them.

Today’s feast celebrates the mystery of our God who is Relationship: Three persons dwelling in and with the other, and as Jesus’ prayer reveals, in us. The famous icon, “Trinity,” written by 15th century Russian painter, Andrei Rubelev, while picturing three angels has been interpreted by many to represent the Holy Trinity. The figures are gathered around a table, leaving open the place facing the one who views the icon. Perhaps it is an invitation to take our seat at table with the Holy Mystery and join in the Love and work of God.

© 2014 Mary van Balen

I Need Pentecost

I Need Pentecost

Photo: Mary van Balen-Detail Lectern Holy Trinity Church, Sloane Square, London

Photo: Mary van Balen-Detail Lectern Holy Trinity Church, Sloane Square, London

Of Sunday’s two readings describing the coming of the Holy Spirit to the disciples, I have always preferred the one from John’s gospel where Jesus on his followers huddled in fear behind locked doors and says simple, “Receive the Holy Spirit.” Never one for lots of drama and fanfare, this account is quiet. The Spirit comes with a breath. No one jumps up mysteriously speaking so everyone can understand no matter the language. No instant transformation. These same disciples are huddled together when Jesus returns again (Granted, he does come through locked doors. A bit of drama.)to show his wounds to the unconvinced Thomas.

All in all, the followers of Jesus needed some time to respond to the gift of Spirit. Life had been confusing. Jesus had been crucified. Nothing turned out as they had expected. The Spirit had a lot of work to do, sinking into the hearts and souls of these wounded and confused folks. They needed time.

Maybe that’s another reason I like this description of the coming of the Holy Spirit: It resonates. Life has not turned out as I had expected either. Does it ever? I need time to heal from the deeper hurts. I need time to get up from life’s more stinging blows and, when I do, to rebuild trust in this God of the Psalms who, despite being billed as our guardian and protecter, sometimes lets things slip by, at least from my perspective.

So, I basked in the Pentecost celebration at Mass yesterday, swaying to  songs with beats from Pentecostal to Caribbean. I soaked up joy and hope. This morning, as I read today’s Mass readings I stuck with the Psalmist’s prayer, “My help is in the One who made heaven and earth,” and know that, like the disciples, I will grow into  deeper trust and the peace that comes on the same breath as the Spirit

Grace Overflowing

Grace Overflowing

PHOTO: Mary van Balen

PHOTO: Mary van Balen

Originally published in The Catholic Times, May 11 2014 issue

 

Despite working until close at Macy’s on Holy Saturday night and arriving home around ten-thirty pm, I had energy and decided to bake hot cross buns. Well, I had energy until they were ready to rise the second time. Dragging, by three in the morning, I was savoring the warm, cinnamony-sweet results and cleaning the kitchen.

When the alarm sounded at 7:45, I wasn’t sure I could pry myself out of bed. “I could go to 11:30,” I thought. No. Nine o’clock was the mass I wanted to attend, sleepy or not. After a shower and a strong cup of tea, I headed out to St. Thomas the Apostle where the parish family was gathering to celebrate Easter.

The church was packed, and even though my usual place was taken, I found a seat next to a lovely older woman wearing an amazing hat. Remember Easter hats? As young girls, my sisters and I had new hats each Easter. Hats. Dresses. White gloves. Part of the ritual.

The altar was surrounded with flowers and on the ledge at the bottom of each stained glass window sat a potted spring bulb flower: hyacinths, tulips, daffodils. The tight buds were beginning to loosen, and hints of color were peeking out. A quite murmur rested in the church as people wished one another “Happy Easter” and caught up on the week before. Then the music began.

One of the many things I love about Saint Thomas is the spirited singing accompanied by a variety of instruments. Organ, piano, guitar, flute, drums, tambourine, trumpet, and on Easter I think I heard a trombone. Someone can set me straight if I’m wrong. It doesn’t matter really. What matters is that people are welcome to share their talents and that so many do!

I don’t remember all the songs we sang that morning, but I remember the joy with which they were sung, the clapping to the rhythm, the harmonies. A favorite “sprinkling” ritual at that parish is the procession up the center aisle to a large earthenware bowl that holds baptismal water. Pews empty out one by one, and when each person reaches the bowl, they dip their hand into the water, turn, and make the sign of the cross on the forehead of the person behind them, all the while belting out Marty Haugen’s song, “Up from the Waters.”

“Up from the waters, God has claimed you, Up from the waters, O child of Light. Praise to the One who called and named you, Up from the waters into life…”

Choir members brought up the end of the line, the last two keeping time with their instruments. The tall gentleman who played the tambourine was last. Having no one behind him to bless with the water, he turned, raised his hands and shook the tambourine making a large sign of the cross: He blessed us all, and we applauded our “amen.”

The responsorial song was sung with a strong voice and a bright smile.

And so it went. The celebrant chose to read the Gospel from the Easter Vigil Mass where the two Marys, having been told that Jesus had risen ran “overjoyed” to tell the disciples. They saw Jesus on their way.

The theme of joy ran through his homily, and with a child’s abandon, a young member of the congregation punctuated one of Fr. Denis’s comments with a heartfelt, “Yeah!”

It fit.

A sung Eucharist Prayer, shared peace, shared communion. The wine was sweet. Sun poured into the windows, waking the flowers as we sang our Alleluias and closing hymn. No one was in a hurry to leave. I told the lady next to me how much I liked her hat, then found some friends who had been across the aisle and exchanged Easter greetings.

I lingered, soaking in the Mystery and Grace, and then made my way across the parking lot. Coming out from the common room in the basement, a few people were carrying boxes of candy-filled plastic eggs to scatter for the Easter egg hunt that would follow the later Mass.

Waiting for the traffic light at the corner to change, I looked at the green grass beside the rectory and church. It was absolutely covered with colored eggs. An abundance. I hadn’t kept Lent particularly well, yet there it was, God’s gift of Self overflowing. A never ending Fountain Fullness as a Franciscan friend says. I put down the car window, waved, and took a deep breath, glad I had pulled myself out of bed for nine o’clock Mass.

A joyful Easter Season to you all.

© 2014 Mary van Balen